White Privilege

At Annual Meeting this weekend, I came across a topic that hits all of "the big 3."  Kent Siladi - Conference Minister for the Florida Conference of the UCC and a great workshop leader - recounted a story of his daughter heading off to college.  She called home and asked a simple question, "Dad, why didn't you teach me about white privilege?"  Kent had taught his children, as most of us do, not to judge people based on their skin tone or nationality, but had remained silent on the larger issue of white privilege. Unluckily for me, he did not then provide a script for how to broach this subject with kids!

I'm the mom of 2 boys.  How can I explain to them that doors will be opened to then based on their being born white males?  How can I explain to them that others may resent their white maleness?  How will I respond to real or perceived prejudice expressed BY them or TOWARD them?

I'm the mom of 1 girl.  How will I guide her through the vestiges of patriarchy and keep her aware of continuing prejudice against other groups at the same time?

Until recently, my family and I had lived exclusively in the South.  In our last locale, in particular, it was difficult to balance a sense of colorblindness with an appreciation of cultural differences.  In this small city, the average citizen was an African-American high school drop out.  Seriously.  How did I respond to my child's innocent query, "Why is it always the 'brown' kids who are in trouble at my school?"  The answer, not well... I responded distinctly not well.

Call me crazy, but I'd rather talk for days on end about the birds and the bees than have to deal with this topic at any depth.  Advice or experiences to share?

[UPDATE: You can check out Kent Siladi's blog here.  Also, I corrected his name from "Ken."]

Comments

[Dee Dee]

You may or may not be aware that I participated in something last fall called "Building Bridges" which is an 8 week (I think) dialogue about race relations. In the materials there are some informative pieces on white privelege - that was, in fact, the topic for one week. I will either copy and mail, or if I get really smart, I will scan and email to you. I think I also have some book titles you may find helpful. (our answer to everything - read a book about it:) )