The Way Life Is

Welcome!

In these posts, I'll do my best to share (for the kids, anonymously) the journey of Shadow Rock's confirmation students.  Along the way, I'll write a bit about part-time church work, parenting, theology, reading, and politics. 

Comments and feedback are welcome.  Thanks for reading.

My Dream

I don't usually write fiction... except the little stories we all like to tell ourselves about who we are and what our lives are about.  But the germ of this idea popped into my head during the last few days.  If you read this and feel compelled to argue with me or if you read this and it makes you angry, I've done something wrong.

2012 Voice 1:
I am a hunter; a veteran; a gun enthusiast.  This seems as much a part of who I am as my right arm.  I don't consider myself a violent person.  Really - I'm just a regular guy, nice enough with a wife and a family that I love. 
This morning I had plans for some target shooting.  The kids are not out of school yet.  I thought I would blow off some steam just as I have done on a dozen other mornings.
But something went wrong this morning.  I unlocked my safe and I stopped.  I just couldn't bring myself to pick up a weapon so similar to the one that killed those children.  For a second, I thought I was going a little nuts.  Their little faces swam before my eyes.  'I am not like that,' I told myself.  But I still didn't pick up the gun.

2012, Voice 2:
I work at Wal-mart.  There you go.  It's not a great job, but it keeps us all fed.  I zip out at 2:45 to pick up the kids.  It's nice being so close to their school.  Especially this week, knowing that if I HAD to, I could run full out and be at the door in about 90 seconds.  Today, I almost got fired.  Maybe I should have been fired!  A customer came into my department (I work in sporting goods... guess I should have mentioned that first).  He was an average looking guy and he smiled at me.  Not threatening or weird at all.  He asked to look at a rifle.  I unlocked the case and reached for it, but tears flooded my eyes.  Crap!  I ought to be able to hold it together.  I mumbled an apology, but when I looked up, the guy wiped his eyes and cleared his throat,  "Never mind, ma'am.  Never mind."  I was scared that he was going to find the manager and complain, but that was over an hour ago and I'm still here.

2012, Voice 3:
I made the kids turn off their video game this afternoon.  My 15 year old started to complain (it comes so naturally to them at that age), but when he saw my face, he just said, "OK mom."

2012, Voice 4:
I'm a libertarian, but I'd give up any liberty you can name to bring those kids back.  Sometimes, ideology can only take you so far.

2012, Voice 5:
Believe me when I tell you, I did NOT need this headache 4 days before Christmas.  They just have to do their jobs!  Unemployment is still high... I can always find someone to work.  I'm HR regional manager for a large sporting goods chain.  Some troublemaker is refusing to sell the guns in our stores.  Evidently, it's a thing.  One bleeding heart talks to another bleeding heart and before you know it I've got this huge headache (reference first sentence) and it's all landing on my desk.

 

Christmas season 2060, Voice 1:
I'm a college student, on my way back home for the break.  I'm pre-law (overachiever!) with a buttload of classes every semester.  This fall, my favorite class was Constitutional Law.  The professor is a real nut, that kind of old-fashioned dude that your parents warned you about.  I wrote my final paper on the dinosaurs in the Constitution.  You know, those parts that just don't pertain to our culture any longer.  The first dinosaur was the three-fifths clause, that part that counted slaves as 3/5 of a person to figure out representation in the Congress.  So messed up.  Next, I covered the history of alcohol prohibition.  The most interested part of my paper was about the Second Amendment.  It's still there... just check it out in the back of grandpa's dictionary.  So evidently I have a right to be part of a militia.  Abfab.  I've never even seen a gun in person.

Christmas season 2060, Voice 2:
In 2012, the week of the Sandy Hook Elementary School Massacre, I was a 40-something mom.  Now I'm a very old lady, but I still remember how tightly my friends and I held our precious babies that week.  I still remember sobbing in the car as I listened to profiles of the teachers who lost their lives protecting their students.  I still remember how I struggled to keep my peace that holiday season as some around the country clamored to arm teachers and place guards at school gates.  What happened after that was so beautiful, so unexpected, so much a breaking through of grace into the world, I can only call it a miracle.

I want to write more, about how the world came to its senses... about how ordinary people made ordinary decisions that moved us away from the myth that somehow a little more violence will make things right.  This little story is my grown-up Christmas wish for the world.  Amen.

Culture of Participation

I spent my  morning putting Shadow Rock back together again.  Well, not literally or completely, but I did take the confirmation class's work on current events down from one bulletin board and moved it (with some editing) to another bulletin board.  And I took our Technology of Participation sticky wall from the Chapel where it was used yesterday for an adult education workshop and took it back to the sanctuary where it is serving to highlight our community conversation about the hardest questions of a life of faith.  As I was moving and carrying, I snapped some pictures of this work.  This got me thinking about our community culture.

But let me back up first, and tell you about that stuff from the first paragraph.

In October, our senior pastor is delivering a sermon series called The Hardest Questions.  The theme and logo are cribbed from a sparkhouse website that has some interesting short articles on the weekly lectionary reading, but we are using the sticky walls and some response cards to encourage folks in the pews to ponder their unanswerable queries.  There's a meditation time in the worship service during which people can write a new question for the wall, respond to others' questions, or group the existing questions into themed clusters.  Interactive services are really interesting to me.  How can we design an hour long worship experience in which people are engaged?  How can people in the pews get involved in the experience, rather than just observing or receiving?  And, even more importantly, when a congregation is accustomed to interactive worship and the expectation of response and feedback before, during, and after a service... does this culture of participation spill over into other aspects of community life?

We could also think about the opposite corollary - have you ever been involved in a church or organiation and felt that you were mostly a spectator, that your presence and memberhip were window dressing for someone else's agenda?

Last night, for our confirmation gathering, I brought a copy of the New York Times and the Arizona Republic.  Our topic was 'The Times In Which We Live.'  We cut out headlines and articles from both papers, deemed them positive or negative, then posted them on a large bulletin board sorted by geography.  We then discussed the following:

• Are there more positive stories or negative stories?  why is that?
• Why are there so many stories about the U.S.? 
• What stories are important to us, but are not reported in the paper?  For these topics, we added notes to the board in the relevant geographic area.
• How do we feel about what's going on in the world?

The students were aware of several issues of interest to them that didn't make the paper, such as the outcome of the Kony 2012 campaign and the issue of blood minerals in developing nations.  Other additions (Penguins are sliding on the ice AS WE SPEAK!) were not as serious.  They were very aware of the upcoming elections.  Many of the kids come from politically active families, and while they generally reflected their families' points of view, they seemed aware of that.  I am attempting to make confirmation an interactive event - and not just in a "hey kids love technology - let's add some of that" sort of way.  I'm asking a similar question - how can we make faith formation something that children shape themselves?  And when confirmation becomes participative, what can we expect from the next generation of church leaders?  When kids' voices are heard and their gifts discerned and explored, are they more likely to stay involved as they get older? 

The negative corollary is relevant here as well.  What happens when a children's program or youth program just feeds kids the right answers?  How do young people respond when they get the feeling that the adults in the room are just talking to themselves? 

We can also talk about a culture of participation one circle wider.  Shadow Rock is a spiritual incubator of sorts.  We have several distinct multi-faith groups sharing our campus - a Reform temple, a New Thought church start, and independent catholic congregation, and others.  In one sense, these groups are tenants.  In another sense, they are co-conspirators: sharing a common vision for a world with more peace and justice.  What might it mean to be more fully participative with these adjacent communities?

Participative programs make my Monday mornings busy, but they are worth the effort.  What else in our faith communities could use a little shaking up, a little messyness, a little questioning?  Where else in society can we find this kind of culture? 

And we're off...

I went home last night TIRED.  The energy of junior high students is wonderful to watch, infectious (I laughed at things I probably shouldn't have), and completely exhausting.

Our session title was "Putting Our Lives Into Perspective."  My idea was to have the students experience and celebrate their lives as part of the larger whole of human history and the universe story.  We used a Technology of Participation "sticky wall," which makes things fun.  The kids wrote 4"X6" cards with events of their lives, the lives of their families, and all of history - all the way back to the Big Bang.  We had the predictable amount of teasing and pop culture references.  One memorable card read, "Justin Bieber DIES."

I asked them, "What cards were easiest to write?  Which did you think of first?"  Most kids responded that it was easiest to think of their own events first, but others thought of cultural events with some personal significance (the founding of Starbucks or the introduction of their favorite video game).  Another couple of students thought first about scientific events they associated with the Big Bang.  One student added her own death as an event in the future.

Really, they are so much smarter than any of us give them credit for.

During our first October session, we'll look at current events.  Is the world getting better or worse?  What does it mean to have your eyes open to the horrors of the world and still be willing to act on behalf of all?

Also last night, I introduced to them a simple opening ritual - a Go Around with this question: have I been my best self this week?  Two answers are suggested:  'Yes and No' (meaning that it's been a good week, but I'm not perfect) and 'No and Yes' (meaning that it's been a difficult week, but I'm still trying).  I invited them to give a reason but they could also pass on the reason.

It was a good start.

Confirmation Journey

Hi there.

I'm re-purposing my blog, The Big 3, to help document and explore the journey of our Shadow Rock confirmation class this year.  So posts will hopefully be fairly regular, and primarily about this group of nine 7th and 8th grade students.  Occasionally as I am inspired/led/called, I will write about some other stuff too.

When I joined the staff at Shadow Rock UCC, confirmation was one the programs I was excited about.  My own oldest child ('G-man' here in blogland) had just been confirmed.  For several years, Shadow Rock had used as a basic confirmation curriculum the book, The Heart of Christianity by Marcus Borg.  Chapter titles of Borg's book became the working titles of the class sessions.  Last year, I shepherded 4 students through confirmation and continued using this basic format.  We are blessed to have several retired clergy, clergy working in other settings, and incredibly well-read laypersons in the congregation.  These folks would come in to facilitate various class sessions that matched their interests and expertise.

It was a good year.  Despite its small size, the 2011-2012 confirmands were a terrific group of kids.  I am fortunate to have played a role in their faith journey.  And, just by the way, I still recommend the Borg book.  It's one of two books that I would credit with my move from childhood faith through a period of interesting heathenism to a maturing, progressive, experiential faith.  The other book is If Grace is True.

Still, this spring I noticed an itch to mix it up.

We have another faith formation program - a weekend retreat for adults called Profound Journey Dialogue.  PJD takes its basic structure and assumptions from the Ecumentical Institute's Religious Studies I, an introduction to theological breakthroughs of the mid-20th century that was part of Shadow Rock's founding and central to our culture and sense of covenant.  In a PJD weekend, people explore their orientation to life, significant events in their lives, their sense of calling, and their commitment to be in the world a certain way.  It's an intense weekend...

So my urge to mix it up looks like this so far:  2012-2013 Confirmation will use the 4 sessions of Profound Journey Dialogue as the outline for class sessions.  Twice monthly class sessions will allow for additional time to process the material and make connections to everyday life (something that would be good for adults too!).

These four sessions are:
1 The Way Life Is:  acknowledging the push-pull of life (Bultmann - the God lecture)
2 Events That Make Us Who We Are:  seeing and accepting our life as it is (Tillich - the Christ event)
3 Freedom and Responsibility (Bonhoeffer - Spirit lifestyle)
4 Community (Neibuhr - the Wedgeblade cadre)

The theologian and phrase in each parentheses is the session as it would be recognzed by folks who were familiar with RS1 in the 70s and 80s, but are not familiar with Profound Journey Dialogue.

Whew!  A lot of unweildy exposition in this post (kinda like Half-Blood Prince, right?) - I apologize.  But here's what I want to say about confirmation:

Part of this journey (both the program that we call 'Confirmation,' but also life itself) is about choosing your basic orientation to life.  Through what lenses will you see your life and the world around you?  Here are the options as I see them:
1 - You can ignore the truth around you and see only good things.
2 - You can ignore the truth around you and see only bad things.
3 - You can see life as it is, and call life a curse, an enemy, something to be endured.
4 - You can see life as it is, and call life your friend, a gift, something to be celebrated.

What does it mean to ask children to consider this choice at the age of 12 or 13?  Do we even get to choose this orientation, or is it something we are born with?  At this age, is this orientation still developing or already set?

More soon!  Our first session is this coming Sunday evening.

To JP, with love and thanks.

Two stories for tonight.  It's a crazy crazy week here, but I'm feeling the need to capture somethings about vocation and calling.

First story is circa 1990.  I'm a lazy good-for-nothing college student enjoying political theory (the only politics major in my year that loved the two required theory courses).  In a small college, there was one political theory professor, Jeff Poelvoorde, quintessential absent-minded professor.  In the midst of an advising session, he told me that I would someday make thinking my life's work.  In my mind, this meant one thing:  that I was meant to pursue a Ph.D. in politlcal theory and follow in Dr. P's steps.   I did not get a Ph.D. in political theory and for a long, long time I thought this meant a failure of some kind.

We'll set this first story to the side and weave in the second story.  When DH and I first got married, I worked at an automotive body shop (remember the whole failure thing?  this was the absolute worst of that).  The bright spots in this really wretched job were some really nice people.  There was this one guy - he looked just like Mr. Clean with a handlebar mustache.  Awesome.  He delivered aftermarket (generic) bumpers and bumper covers to the shop about once a week.   I would chat him up while waiting for someone to sign a check for bumpers.  During these chats, I discovered that he was also a ballet dancer.  He danced with a semi-professional company in Orlando.  He got some good parts, he said, because he was strong enough to do lifts easily.  Bumper guy?  Ballet dancer?  Both?  I wish I could remember that dude's name.  If I had been listening and paying attention, he had a lesson for me.

Tonight I was at a class about vocation.  I was thinking about the twenty years between my talk with my professor and now.  I'm at a good place.  I see that Dr. P was right in part.  I do make thinking (and writing and teaching) my life's work.  It just looks very different than I imagined it then.  I looked down at my notes for the class...  What do people tell me I'm good at?  What would I do if I could do anything?  Two thoughts came to me unbidden:  1) MORE - do MORE and 2) get a housekeeper.  It's a very good place.

Sometimes you do what you have to do to power your real passion.

Sometimes your calling arrives later than expected and wearing different clothes.

In either case, patience and kindness are the order of the day.  Most especially, be patient and kind to yourself.